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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28696503">Vanessa Returns</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deebubble8/pseuds/Deebubble8'>Deebubble8</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Emmerdale</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Honesty, Love Confessions, Starting Over</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 08:20:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,259</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28696503</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deebubble8/pseuds/Deebubble8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Charity Dingle/Vanessa Woodfield</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Vanessa Returns</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Vanessa pulls up outside Tug Ghyll and sits in her car . She cant believe its been over 12 months since she was here last. The last thing she wants is for her return to be a problem, although she is worried and scared to see Charity happy with her new man.<br/>
She gets Johnny out of his car seat and onto the road, takes his hand and they walk to the front door and knocked. Tracey throws the door open and gives her sister a massive hug, then picks up Johnny who is only too happy to return it. They all go inside.<br/>
“ V its so good to see you , I hate that you haven’t felt able to come home.”<br/>
“ Its not that Tracey, its just easier for me right now”.<br/>
“ You shouldn’t have to stay away cause of her.”<br/>
“ Tracey I have only just arrived, please don’t start and not in front of J O H N N Y”<br/>
“Ok V I will let it go, im sure you can cope with her and move forward, the sooner the better.”<br/>
Cups of tea were made and they settled down to catch up on the gossip. Staying well away from one part of the Dingle family.<br/>
The following morning was clear and sunny , with a frost on the ground. Vanessa had forgotten how lovely the dales were.<br/>
She is sitting at the kitchen table when there is a knock at the door.<br/>
Vanessa hopes that isn’t Charity, surely word hasn’t reached her yet that she is back in the village.<br/>
She gets up and opens the door steeling herself to see a certain stunning blonde, only to find Chas standing there.<br/>
“ Vanessa its so good to see you, How are you luv?”<br/>
“ Chas its great to see you too, come in please, do you fancy a cuppa ?”<br/>
“ I wont stop too long I have a pub to open. I thought it would be better if I came around. Charity isn’t up to seeing you at the moment and asked if it was at all possible for her to see Johnny and for Noah and Moses to see you?”<br/>
Vanessa thought maybe Charity had flu or just couldn’t be bothered to leave her new love nest, well whatever she missed her other boys so much. Thanks Chas this is very good of you to do this. Charity is welcome to have Johnny and I would love to see the boys, I have missed them to.”<br/>
After making arrangements with Chas to do pick ups and drop offs Chas goes back to the pub, saying she hopes to see her in the pub soon.<br/>
“ Chas im not sure that will be welcomed your cousins new fella “&gt;<br/>
Chas looks up as she is leaving and gives her a puzzled look, she doesn’t say anything else just waves as she crosses the road.<br/>
The next morning she has arranged to see Rhona for a long awaited catch up.<br/>
“ Ness its so wonderful to see you”.<br/>
Just as Vanessa turns to go in Rhona’s door she thinks she catches sight of Charity. She scurries of and out of sight with her head down. Well that just about says it all she thinks.<br/>
“ Hi Luv its great to see you too, you got the kettle on then?”<br/>
“ Whats it been like so far being back ? “<br/>
“ A bit strange to be honest, Chas called round yesterday and took me by surprise, She came to ask if Charity could see Johnny and Noah and Moses could see me. Anyway we arranged it all.”<br/>
“ Oh Ness that’s great, Im sure Charity will be made up to see Johnny and you the other boys.”<br/>
“ You mean my other boys, I see them as my sons even if she has moved on.”<br/>
“ What do you mean Ness, who’s moved on with who.”<br/>
“ Charity of course , with that Mac guy she had the affair with. You cant have forgotten . I know when we have spoken on the phone I haven’t asked about her but you know all that broke my heart and its why its been so long since ive been home. I m not sure I am ready to see them all loved up even now.”<br/>
“ Ness she never had an affair with him, She did kiss him and trust me she knows what she did destroyed you and lost her everything. They did hang around for a bit, he was basically causing trouble and she wasn’t seeing him as such they were up to something , but not a relationship. She really wouldn’t have been in any fit state.”<br/>
“ How do you know this then”.<br/>
“ I was with her when she came back that day after the kiss and could see the state she was in, I thought it was the bump in her car. It was the following day when I popped around to see what time you were back she told me”.<br/>
“ Well how do you know she wasn’t seeing him before then ?”<br/>
“ Cause that day she came back and rang you , she came across the road to find me and tell me you had the all clear, as we were standing there He turned up and announced her was Moira’s brother. She had no idea who he was or the fact he was coming here.”<br/>
“ Right so why wouldn’t she have been in any fit state after that then ?”<br/>
“ Ness hasn’t anyone said anything to you. When you never asked I assumed you didn’t want to hear about her, but I also thought Tracey would have said something . She started drinking heavily Ness, she sent Moses to Ross and Noah and Sarah tried to help her but she could not handle it, They then went to stay with Cain and Moira. She carried on for months, just drinking herself into oblivion. I think it was about 4 months before Diane came back and started keeping an eye on her and got her to straighten herself out a bit. She isn’t drinking so much now. But she certainly isn’t her old self. “<br/>
“ I had no idea Rhona. I have no idea how I feel about that. Im angry she made the children suffer. And I cant believe how selfish she has been. But I cant lie Rhona I still love her. I know I will get past that some day but I cant imagine feeling this much for anyone else. She was it for me”.<br/>
Rhona leaned over a brushed tears off of Vanessa’s face and gave her a hug.<br/>
“She still loves you, is there anyway back. We both know you don’t find that kind of love everyday and once in a life time if your lucky “.<br/>
“ I know , and I just don’t know. I saw her as I arrived here, but she just put her head down and almost ran away.”<br/>
“ Well maybe Ness its not about going back, maybe its about going forward”.<br/>
“ You might have a point there Rhona. Thanks I really appreciate you telling me.”<br/>
Vanessa left Rhona’s and turned to go home, or what was passing for home now. She needed her car to go and fetch Johnny from Pre School.<br/>
That evening when Tracey came in from helping Nate on the farm while looking after her gorgeous niece Hope. She had taken over the paperwork side of the business to help out and also keep an eye on him and Moira.<br/>
Vanessa asked Tracey after the kids were safely tucked up in bed and asleep about what Rhona had said.<br/>
“ Oh Vanessa you didn’t need to know what a waste of space she was, you are well rid. I caught her drinking herself stupid in the play ground one day in the pouring rain. She had thrown up and just carried on swigging at the bottle.”<br/>
“ God Tracey didn’t it occure to you she needed help.”<br/>
“Help after what that slag did to you, No way would I help her”.<br/>
“ There is no need to call her that, and it wasn’t that long ago she put herself out a lot to help you lady.”<br/>
“ All bets were off when she cheated on you when you had cancer.”<br/>
“ Yes im not defending the kiss at all, but there was no affair according to Rhona.”<br/>
“ How the hell would she know. Im sure they are still at it like rabbits.”<br/>
“ I really don’t need to hear that Tracey. Im going out for a walk I need to clear my head”.<br/>
With that she left the house and wandered along the road and towards the band stand. She couldn’t believe what she saw. Charity was sitting on the floor of the band stand and it looked from a distance as if she was crying.<br/>
Vanessa approached from behind her and as she was sobbing, she didn’t hear her footsteps. She stood there looking at the woman she still so desperately loved, but had hurt her so much last year.<br/>
Then she heard Charity cry out her name and ask why did she have to ruin it all.<br/>
Just as Vanessa had summoned up enough courage to speak Charity got to her feet and turned around . Startled to see Vanessa standing in front of her Charity gave out a cry and started backing away. Vanessa could see her now under the streetlight and her eyes looked haunted and sad. Probably the saddest she had ever seen them.<br/>
“ Ness” Charity’s voice was rough with emotion.” How long have you been standing there”.<br/>
“ Long enough. I m worried about you, you don’t seem yourself. Are you ok ?”<br/>
“ No Ness im not , but that isn’t your concern these days is it”<br/>
The sadness in her voice almost made Vanessa cry.<br/>
“ Charity I will always care about you”<br/>
“ I cant Ness, I cant see you. Its too hard. Please don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine, you know me. Tough as old boots eh Babe ! “.<br/>
And with a quick wink she walked away.<br/>
Vanessa stood there rooted to the spot for about thirty seconds, then started to run after her.<br/>
“Charity stop please…..Please”.<br/>
Charity did stop to the second please. She turned and starred at Vanessa.<br/>
“ What do you want Ness.. Blood ! “.<br/>
“ No I don’t want blood you stubborn old fool. I want to talk to you for gods sake woman.”<br/>
“ Sugar coat it why don’t you. I really don’t know if I can be close to you or talk to you. I have imagined this so often, but now you are actually here I have mo idea what to say. Im so very sorry for the pain I caused you and everyone else.<br/>
I know you hate me and I cant handle that.”<br/>
“ I don’t hate you Charity. I was angry with you, furious in fact, but I never hated you. I did hate what you did. But never you. I don’t think I know how to hate you.”<br/>
“ I have hurt you , hurt my kids, I haven’t seen Johnny for so long, im sure that’s hurt him. I hurt everyone I Love. I don’t need my family to tell me how worthless I am I already know.”<br/>
“ Charity are you telling me that we break up and the only support you get from your family is them telling you that you are worthless. What the bloody hell are they thinking.”<br/>
“ Well they are not wrong babe, Its best you keep running Ness.”<br/>
“ Well I think we will leave it up to me to decide what I think is best for me eh!.<br/>
I think its time to get you home and maybe if you warm up a bit you might talk to me a little ?”<br/>
“ You know how much I like talking Ness , but warming up does sound good.”<br/>
As Vanessa starts to walk towards Jacobs Fold she notices Charity is walking past it.<br/>
“ Where are you going”<br/>
“ To the Pub”<br/>
“ I don’t want a drink and I certainly don’t want everyone watching us having a chat”.<br/>
“ Neither do I , but Debbie came home and kicked me out so home is the pub, Just me and Moses.”<br/>
“ Oh Charity “.<br/>
They get to the back door to the pub and Charity lets them in. Paddy is sitting watching a film. He gets up mumbles something and makes a quick exit.<br/>
“ Shall I make a cuppa or do you want something stronger.”<br/>
“ Cuppa is fine for me thanks, but you have which ever you want.”<br/>
“ I try not to drink much at the moment I had the next 10 years of my alcohol daily allowance a few months back.”<br/>
Charity tries to laugh at what she said. Vanessa could see the hurt and shame on her face.<br/>
“ Oh Charity, why didn’t I just come home and have a right bloody go at you then. I hate seeing you in pain like this. Please don’t hate yourself. We all make mistakes. I should have been in contact with you more. I was so scarred and you had the kids to cope with I thought it would lessen you burden not to be worrying about me, I did it all wrong. I know now I was hard work when I was ill.”<br/>
“ Ness don’t you dare put any blame at all on yourself. This was all car crash me. Oh yes literally. Sorry wasn’t meant to make a joke out of it. Just realised what I said. Oh god im rabbiting. I am so nervous . I don’t really know what to say. I cant change what it did, if I could I would have done it straight away.<br/>
MacKenzie is Moira’s brother and he came here to cause trouble for her. When he crashed into the side of my car I had been crying and looking at pictures of us on my phone, I think he saw I was vulnerable and started bantering with me and like some attention seeking fool I played into his hands. After you finished with me I was all over the place and he just kept turning up. And I kept telling him to get lost. A few days after you sent the ring back and Cain had given me the ‘come on we know what your like, you will bed someone else soon’ speeches, I felt about as worthless as I think I have ever felt, and added to that I had Moira and Chas telling me to pull myself together and do right by my kids as I was the worst mother in the world. Mac and I did a scam to get some cash, afterwards he wanted to celebrate and I have no idea why I did by I did. As you can see I am worthless. I hated myself even more after. I realise by telling you that now there is nothing more you will want from me. I just wish I could undo all of it. I think in some way that was the lowest I could get and I started only drinking myself to sllep then instead of all day and I tried to get the kids back. At this point I need to tell you something else that will disgust you. I did another Job with MacKenzie even after all that cause I told Noah I would pay for university to try stopping him going in the army. It was to rob home farm except because I wasn’t as sharp as usual he was conning me and left me there locked in and called the police. He then went to the pub to see Cain as Cain had asked me to double cross Mac and I stupidly told him, Anyway he let it be know what he had done to me. Noah heard him and raced up to let me out. I ran off and he got caught. He wanted to take the blame to save Moses going through what he did as a kid. As luck would have it Kim Tate was in a generous mood so when I begged her to drop the charges, she actually did. She made it quite clear at some point she will want the favour repaid. Then to cap it all I ended up signing the papers for Noah to go in the army. Sarah had been messing about with Danny again and got herself in a lot of trouble so Debbie came back had a really good go at me and chucked me out of Jacobs Fold. And here I am. Back where I started”.<br/>
“ Bloody hell Charity. I cant remember the last time you told me that much about anything. I hate that you slept with him, you know that. But at least we weren’t together then. Not that it hurts any less. What I hate most is you sodding family. Oh don’t get me wrong my Mother was a long way of supportive and stuck the knife in where ever possible. But to make you feel that way. The problem is Charity you have always believed that about yourself even when we were together, you never felt good enough for me . It didn’t matter how many  times I told you you were. I need to ask one question, Will you please please be honest with me.”<br/>
“ Yes I will Ness”<br/>
“ Actually its two questions” Charity raised her eyebrows and half laughed.<br/>
“ Do you have or had any feelings for MacKenzie ?”<br/>
“ Bloody hell no not one babe I promise”<br/>
“ OK and a harder one….. Do you still Love me ?”<br/>
Charity looked completely stunned. But quickly replied<br/>
“ Oh Ness I have never loved anyone the way I love you, You are the love of my life. You are it for me. I really really stupidly and completely love you.”<br/>
Vanessa looked at the woman she loved and knew beyond any doubt that she was telling her the truth.<br/>
“ And I really really stupidly and completely love you too.”<br/>
“ Ness your not just saying that are you ?? “  A look of bewilderment on her face.<br/>
“ No darling, I might have been very angry and mixed up, but I never stopped loving you. I think though if we want to try again I will need something from you.”<br/>
“ Anything babe, would you really want to try again ?”<br/>
“ Yes Charity Dingle I would, but as I said I need you to do something for me , well for us and the boys. I need you to get some counselling , you need to stop feeling worthless babe. It matters to me and I really do want us to work ,cause  you are it for me too.”<br/>
“Babe I actually agree with you and I went to manpreat last week and I am waiting for an appointment.”<br/>
“ Oh my god Charity that’s amazing . Why did you do that, I mean I know it right but you were so dead set against it.”<br/>
“ I suppose I have to be honest again. I figured if I was ever going to see you or try to get you back I needed to sort myself out.”<br/>
Vanessa just smiled at her, the first time in a long time it was a genuine happy smile.<br/>
“ Do you think its too early for me to ask for a kiss”<br/>
“ Babe, you are joking, I wanted to run over when I first saw you and Kiss you”<br/>
“ MMMmmm not sure how that would have worked out for you.”<br/>
As they drew closer their lips met for the first time in over a year and they both knew in that instant they had come home.</p>
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